I often tell my patients, “the mind does not make change just because the change makes sense.” How often have you given helpful advice to a friend about their problems and they respond, “Wow! Thank you. That makes so much sense. I am going to do that right away?” Probably not often.
I believe meaningful change happens thru choosing between uncomfortable options. But without guidance, people often rely on tendencies that are well reinforced, familiar, or comfortable. The best way to learn is not necessarily a cognitive process, but an experiential one. I help patients benefit from change by guiding them thru the emotional discomfort of deciding between uncomfortable choices.
I am transparent with my patients and I give a lot of feedback. I tell them we will talk about your childhood, family, relationships, experiences, career, and goals. It is my job to use that information for two specific goals.
One: To help prevent why you came to me in the first place (i.e. depression, anxiety, panic attacks, relationship issues, career problems, etc.) from happening again.
Two: To help you get what you want by getting out of your own way. To help you get not what you think you want, not what others tell you what to want, but what you actually want.
Thru it all, I hope my patients experience that I am always looking out for them.
Doonam Kim, MD
Photo by Doonam Kim, MD
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